I know I'm just the step-mom, but...

I'd like to know how my fellow step-moms feel about their in-laws and the relationship they have with the ex-wife.

I encourage healthy relationships in general, and I think it's great when everyone can get along. But I can't help but feel a little left out at times. :: sigh :: Sounds childish, huh? But I need to confront this issue...Whether his family means to or not, I feel like an outcast.

Let me make one thing clear, I know that is MY issue. It's probably all in my head, but that doesn't lessen the fact that it's still something I struggle with.

Examples?

BM sends Mr.Brady emails that say things like...

"I've seen your family a lot latetly, and they feel like you are (fill in the blank)"

"Your sister and 2 nieces are moving in with me..."

Ok. I get it. Just because he got divorced, doesn't mean the rest of the family has to disown her. After all, she is still the mother of his children. I suppose I'm finding it difficult to "warm up" to them, when I know that she is still so close with all of them. Yes. Yes. I know that this doesn't mean that they can't be close to both of us. But it's difficult for me to put down my guard, to open up, to not watch what I say around his sisters. I wan't to say, "HEY! I'm cool too! I know you've known BM for 17 years, but I'm pretty sure I can be fun to get to know too!"

The only comfort I can offer myself is time. I know, that with time, everything will settle into place. I won't feel like such an outcast. But until then...I'm left to wonder...is there room in the family for the second wife?