Hello?

Has it really been almost a month since my last post? Have I given up? Am I really that lazy when it comes to keeping up with the tool that has helped me stay sane these past 6 months!!

Apparently yes. And if you're reading this right now, I owe you the biggest hug. Thank you for continuing to check up on me.

This month has been crazy. As I'm sure it has been for all of you.

This Christmas, I have been volunteered to host the festivities at our place. Not that I mind so much - but wow! Talk about stress.

So...I'm going to cheap out on this WAY overdue post and instead of giving you an update on my life, I'm going to ask you for your favorite appetizer recipe. You know...finger foods, coffee table snacks, etc.

If you've got some gems hidden in your recipe box - and are willing to share - I would be in your debt!

Why I might be a terrible person, reason #2

My Brady Bunch family is a tad different from the original Brady Bunch.

I'll state the obvious: we have more than one bathroom, we don't actually have a live-in housekeeper, my step-kids don't call me Mom, and Mr.Brady isn't an architect.

But what really seperates us from TV's fantasy family are the dynamics between the kids. In the original series, Jan is second to Marica. Marcia Marcia Marcia. Jan pretty much found a not- so-great place in Marcia's shadow.

In my Brady Bunch, it's quite the opposite. Jan is bossy, aggressive, and extremely demanding! Marcia on the other hand is quiet, polite, considerate and contemplative.

I have witnessed WAY to many situations where Jan fully walks all over Marcia. Does Marcia do anything about it? Nope. She just says, "I'd rather give in to her than have to hear her cry for hours on end."

How sad is that.

And what would this post be without a classic Jan example.

:: ahem ::

Last week, Marcia and Greg were sitting on the couch. Jan was sitting on the floor, playing with her toys. Mr.Brady walks in the room and notices that there is still one plate on the dinning room table that hasn't been cleared. He calls over to Jan, "Take your plate into the kitchen, please." Mr.Brady exits stage left.

I, in the laundry room, can hear everything - but has remained to be seen. Jan gets up, walks over to Marcia and says, "Thanks for getting me in trouble!"

"How did I get you in trouble?" Marcia asks.

"You could have taken my plate into the kitchen with yours, but you didn't. And now I'M in trouble!" she replies in a (for lack of a better word) bitchy tone.

Marcia says nothing. I step out of the laundry room and say, "It's not her responsibility to clean up after you. You are 6 years old, you know how to take a plate into the kitchen."

Jan's face goes red. She's horrified that she has been busted. Marcia smiles at me.

So...that's a typical bossy-Jan situation.

WELL - today may have been the FIRST morning that I actually enjoyed the sound of Jan crying.

7:45am - I hear screaming coming from the kitchen.
7:55am - Still screaming, crying, yelling. (All Jan).

I hear Mr.Brady go in there and ask what's going on.

"MARCIA WON'T GET ME MY CEREAL!"

"And?" says Mr.Brady

"I CAN'T GET IT!"

"What? Of course you can! It's right infront of you".

"NO! NO! NO! I CAN'T! IT'S TOO HARD!"

"Marcia, why won't you help Jan?", he asks.

Marcia's response: "Because, Dad...I am not her slave. She cried last night when I wouldn't bring her bag in from the car! I can't do everything for her! She is 6 years old, she can get it herself. I was getting cereal for myself when I was 4. I'm not doing it anymore."

"Fair enough", says Mr.Brady, "Jan, you're on your own. You'll have to open the cupboard by yourself, and prepare your own cereal."

Yelling ensues.

Now, I know that some of you are going to disagree with what happened. Maybe 6 is still young enough that a parent should be be pouring her kids cereal and milk, but I'm in the school of thought of, "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime." Hot food? of course we take care of that. Cereal? Not so much.

So, even though I'm a terrible person for actually enjoying the sound of Jan crying this morning, I am damn proud of Marcia for standing her ground and speaking her mind.

I know I'm just the step-mom, but...

I'd like to know how my fellow step-moms feel about their in-laws and the relationship they have with the ex-wife.

I encourage healthy relationships in general, and I think it's great when everyone can get along. But I can't help but feel a little left out at times. :: sigh :: Sounds childish, huh? But I need to confront this issue...Whether his family means to or not, I feel like an outcast.

Let me make one thing clear, I know that is MY issue. It's probably all in my head, but that doesn't lessen the fact that it's still something I struggle with.

Examples?

BM sends Mr.Brady emails that say things like...

"I've seen your family a lot latetly, and they feel like you are (fill in the blank)"

"Your sister and 2 nieces are moving in with me..."

Ok. I get it. Just because he got divorced, doesn't mean the rest of the family has to disown her. After all, she is still the mother of his children. I suppose I'm finding it difficult to "warm up" to them, when I know that she is still so close with all of them. Yes. Yes. I know that this doesn't mean that they can't be close to both of us. But it's difficult for me to put down my guard, to open up, to not watch what I say around his sisters. I wan't to say, "HEY! I'm cool too! I know you've known BM for 17 years, but I'm pretty sure I can be fun to get to know too!"

The only comfort I can offer myself is time. I know, that with time, everything will settle into place. I won't feel like such an outcast. But until then...I'm left to wonder...is there room in the family for the second wife?

Message in a bottle...

Thank you all for the support emails that some of you have sent. They have ranged from, "Where the hell are you?" to "Are you alive? Has the Brady Bunch finally driven you crazy?"

I'm here. And very much alive.

I'm just really busy with work, and havent had a good opportunity to post. But thank you! It means so much to me that people care about where I am. Please keep in mind that just because I'm not posting, I am definitely still reading YOUR blogs everyday. It helps me to feel connected. Strange as it may sound, this little group of step-moms is an important part of keeping my sanity. So often the words I read put a huge smile on my face. I can't even begin to count the amount of times I've yelled, "OMG...I know EXACTLY what she's talking about".

My point is...even though I suck and often go a week (or two) without posting...I still read yours. I'm a slacker. I know.

:: Hugs :: & smiles!

Banana Bread Goodness

I looked in our freezer last week and saw that we had an abundance of ripe bananas. I decided it was time to make some banana bread. I'd like to share my recipe with you because I did something different this time and, oh my gosh, it is delicious. So if you've got some ripe bananas sitting lonely in your freezer...you might want to give this a go.

Traditional Recipe

1 1/2 cups Flour
1 teaspoon Baking Soda
1 teaspoon Salt
1 cup Sugar
1/2 cup
3 ripe bananas

Added:

1 teaspoon Vanilla
1/2 cup Milk
1/4 teaspoon Cinnamon

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Lightly grease an 8x4 inch loaf pan.
2. In a large bowl, cream the butter and sugar. Sift in the flour, baking soda and salt. Blend in the mashed bananas. Pour batter into pan.
3. Bake in preheated oven for 60 minutes, or until a knife inserted into center of loaf comes out clean.

Voila.

****

In other news....

Another exaple of Mrs.Brady's strage and unusual thought process.

The other day I called up the kids and asked if they were ready for Halloween. They were all very excited about their costumes and agreed to give me any of their candies that had nuts in them :)

I then inquired about pumpkins. "Did you guys carve pumpkins yet?"

Greg replies, "Not yet. Mom doesn't have money for pumpkins."

Give.Me.A.Break.

I bought a pumpkin last weekend and it cost me a total of $2.00.

Again....2 dogs....pumpkins...WTF!

Nutshell

This was originally a long winded post, but it gave me a headache when I re-read it. Since I love you all so much, and don't want to torture you with my venting, I'm going to give you the nutshell version of my weekend.

Saturday

- The kids are thrilled. Their mother has bought a $600 dog from a Montana breeder, and it arrives at 2pm.
- Two weeks ago she was complaining about not having enough money to buy food. Um....ok....
- We take kids over to visit the dog. The house is a disaster (not suprising). The dog is not house trained and pees on Jan, Mrs.Brady and various objects around the house (which I know is normal, but it doesn't help when there is so much crap on the ground that can't tell where the dog did a do-do).

Sunday

- Greg's 13th birthday. We take him and his friends bowling. Afterwards, we take them back to Mrs.Brady for cake and presents.
- When we get there, the kids run around the house trying to find their new dog.
- Mrs.Brady announces that she's lost the dog. It wiggled its way out of its collar and ran away.
- Mrs. Brady is devastated. Kids are sad.
- Marcia calls to tell us that Mrs.Brady is going to take them to look at more dogs on Monday. We ask about the one that's lost. She says that if it comes home, they'll just have 2 dogs.

I know it's none of my business. I know it's not my home, nor is it my decision. But it does become my business when her decisions affect the children who live in my home 3 days of the week.

A week ago she could barely afford to feed the kids. Now she can afford to drop $600 on a dog, plus whatever she spends on the second one?

I am beyong confused.

(BTW - thank you for all your comments about the Birthday Blues. I have since decided that from now on I'm just going to take them shopping myself. If he gets two sets of presents, so be it. It's better than seeing him not get anything at all).

Birthday Blues

Again, another 2 weeks without a post.

Work.Has.Been.Nuts.

The last few weeks have been quite eventful – and also a huge dissapointment. Not necessarily for me, but for Mr.Brady.

Before I go off on todays rant (which isn’t all about Jan – yay), I’d like to say again how much appreciate all of your blogs. I look forward to reading them everyday and they bring me so much comfort – especially in a situation that can leave you feeling very alone. So…thank you.

October 13 was Mr.Brady’s birthday. It was a big one, he turned 40 years old. We had the kids Wed, Thur, and Fri that week, so I planned a family bday dinner on the Friday. We had Chinese (the food, not the people), German chocolate cake, and the kids made cupcakes. We all sat down and enjoyed the feast.

It was about this time that I noticed that the kids hadn’t brought out any presents, cards, or pictures/paintings – so I held off on bringing out the present I had gotten him. I brought out the cake, we sang (horribly), he blew out the candles and we all stuffed ourselves silly. An hours passes, and still…nothing.

Mr.Brady and I begin cleaning up the table, and the kids go off into the TV room. I begin to wonder if this is some sort of family tradition that I don’t know about…maybe they don’t give gifts at the table? Maybe they give them on the hour they are actually born? But no, I’ve been with them through birthdays before, this was definitely not the case.

What is going on???

An hour later, the kids are in bed. Mr.Brady is sitting in bed reading. I use this opportunity to give him his gift. He opens it. Loves it. And then says, “Did my kids forget about my birthday?”

It was the saddest thing I have ever heard him say. It broke my heart.

The next day, Marcia told me that her mom would take them shopping for their dad. Next week arrives, still nothing.

Here is my question. Actually no. It’s not a question, because I already know the answer. It’s more like a statement that I need to have validated.

I should not have to assume that I am buying Mr.Brady presents from his kids. That responsibility is Mrs.Brady, who has them 4 days out of the week.

If she couldn't afford it, or couldn't find the time, I would have been MORE than happy to take them shopping, but she didn't communicate anything to me.

Mr.Brady always ensures that the kids have something to give to her on her bday, so why wouldn’t she do the same?