End-of-Spring Cleaning

It's been forever. I know, I know!

Life is terrific, and I'm in a very positive state of mind. Must be the weather! It's getting sunny in Seattle ;)

Now for some news...I've decided to close this blog and start a new one. I'm aiming for a more general blog. I will certainly be continuing to post about step-mama topics, but I wanted a place that I could use my real name.

If you'd like to join me at my new blog, let me know, and I'll send you the URL :)

And if y'all dont mind - I would like to transfer your names (links) over to my new digs.

What am I? Chopped liver?

Wow. I just finished a super long post and hit refresh by accident and *poof*, it's gone.

Lovely.

Anyhow, I'm curious about how you all handle elementary school arts & crafts that are geared solely towards the biological parents.

I mean, I get it. I can remember making construction paper crafts with white smelly glue and big colourful markers - and I can clearly remember writing words like MOM, and DAD on the same page, even though my parents have been divorced since I was a little girl. But come on education system! Wake up! It can't be uncommon for kids to have divorced parents and I would be very suprised to learn that Jan was the only kid in her class with a step-mom.

I'm still juggling my self control on this issue. On the one hand I want her to be reassured that the divorce had nothing to do with her and that her parents are still her parents and always will be. If she wants to make something that says, "Happy Valentines Day Mom & Dad", so be it. But you'd think (or maybe I'm crazy for being so idealistic) that teachers would give the option to students to make two hearts? One for each home? Which just might encourage kids (on their own) to think about the other people who live in their home(s). Jan's biomom has a boyfriend who lives with them, and Mr.Brady has me...us "seconds" definitely do as much in the ways of raising these children, but we aren't blood related so it's not justified if we feel left out, or god forbid, complain.

I'm serious. I feel like I'm the most selfish woman on the planet when I bring this kind of thing up with women who aren't stepmoms.

I don't know. Like I said, maybe I AM being selfish - but blended families need support, even moreso from the place where our kids are spending 6 hours of their weekdays.

I know I'm generalizing. In fact, I am CERTAIN that I'm generalizing. I recently read one woman's blog where she was pleasantly suprised to find 4 chairs at the parent teacher conference. The instructor had assumed that some children would have a biomom/dad and stepmom/dad.

Now thats progressive thinking!

How do I encourage the same movement at my kids' school without sounding like a friggin' whiner.

Am I being a whiner?

Bedtime

I'm curious what the average bedtime is for children of the ages 6, 11 & 13.

What time do your kids go to sleep?

Why bother?

Today has been a shitty day. Plain and simple.

I won't bore you with the details of what lead up to this shitty day - but I will tell you about the straw that broke the camels back.

I made dinner for everyone, I clean up the kitchen, Marcia invites me to play a game, I play. Afterwards they get ready for bed, they come back into the living room and say, "Night, Dad". They hug him and leave. I immediately want to cry. This has happened so many nights. Where I am ignored completely - whether they mean to or not, it hurts. I expressed my hurt feelings to Mr.Brady, who said he hadn't noticed and that he would talk to them about it.

Did he ever get around to talking to them about it? Nope.

Did he go into their room afterwards to talk to them about it tonight? Nope.

Did he even wince, noticing that they had, once again, ignored me? Nope.

Sometimes it's just nice to feel included in the ready-made family, you know?

It's been a shitty day.

Meme for moi

I have no excuse for my behavior. I am sorry. I am turning out to be a horrible blogger. And I honestly don't think it's because I don't have anything interesting to say. I do. Really!

I'm just lazy.

Thankfully, Lacey tagged me to do a meme post.

The meme rules:
Link to the person that tagged you.
Post the rules on your blog.
Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
Tag at least three people at the end of your post and link to their blogs.
Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
Let the fun begin!

1. I am shamelessly addicted to trashy magazines. I can't help it. I frequently read US weekly, Star, In-touch, and Hello. I blame it on Britney.

2. I have a very particular way of folding towels. I am the only one in my house who folds towels because...apparently my method is "too hard".

3. I have tricked the Brady kids into thinking my lasagna is the 'real deal'. It's a completely unhealthy and a fast food version of it, but they're hooked.

4. I bought Britney Spears' last album, "Blackout". I know, I know.

5. I love Jolly Rancher Jolly Jellies. I must have a constant supply.

6. I was recently told by a psychic that I'm going to have twins and a boy. I'm not sure how I feel about this. Especially since the Brady family already has 3 kids.


I tag:


Erin @ The Erin Experiment

Quentin @ QBall's Mental Detritus

K @ The Not-So-Evil Stepmom

Hello?

Has it really been almost a month since my last post? Have I given up? Am I really that lazy when it comes to keeping up with the tool that has helped me stay sane these past 6 months!!

Apparently yes. And if you're reading this right now, I owe you the biggest hug. Thank you for continuing to check up on me.

This month has been crazy. As I'm sure it has been for all of you.

This Christmas, I have been volunteered to host the festivities at our place. Not that I mind so much - but wow! Talk about stress.

So...I'm going to cheap out on this WAY overdue post and instead of giving you an update on my life, I'm going to ask you for your favorite appetizer recipe. You know...finger foods, coffee table snacks, etc.

If you've got some gems hidden in your recipe box - and are willing to share - I would be in your debt!

Why I might be a terrible person, reason #2

My Brady Bunch family is a tad different from the original Brady Bunch.

I'll state the obvious: we have more than one bathroom, we don't actually have a live-in housekeeper, my step-kids don't call me Mom, and Mr.Brady isn't an architect.

But what really seperates us from TV's fantasy family are the dynamics between the kids. In the original series, Jan is second to Marica. Marcia Marcia Marcia. Jan pretty much found a not- so-great place in Marcia's shadow.

In my Brady Bunch, it's quite the opposite. Jan is bossy, aggressive, and extremely demanding! Marcia on the other hand is quiet, polite, considerate and contemplative.

I have witnessed WAY to many situations where Jan fully walks all over Marcia. Does Marcia do anything about it? Nope. She just says, "I'd rather give in to her than have to hear her cry for hours on end."

How sad is that.

And what would this post be without a classic Jan example.

:: ahem ::

Last week, Marcia and Greg were sitting on the couch. Jan was sitting on the floor, playing with her toys. Mr.Brady walks in the room and notices that there is still one plate on the dinning room table that hasn't been cleared. He calls over to Jan, "Take your plate into the kitchen, please." Mr.Brady exits stage left.

I, in the laundry room, can hear everything - but has remained to be seen. Jan gets up, walks over to Marcia and says, "Thanks for getting me in trouble!"

"How did I get you in trouble?" Marcia asks.

"You could have taken my plate into the kitchen with yours, but you didn't. And now I'M in trouble!" she replies in a (for lack of a better word) bitchy tone.

Marcia says nothing. I step out of the laundry room and say, "It's not her responsibility to clean up after you. You are 6 years old, you know how to take a plate into the kitchen."

Jan's face goes red. She's horrified that she has been busted. Marcia smiles at me.

So...that's a typical bossy-Jan situation.

WELL - today may have been the FIRST morning that I actually enjoyed the sound of Jan crying.

7:45am - I hear screaming coming from the kitchen.
7:55am - Still screaming, crying, yelling. (All Jan).

I hear Mr.Brady go in there and ask what's going on.

"MARCIA WON'T GET ME MY CEREAL!"

"And?" says Mr.Brady

"I CAN'T GET IT!"

"What? Of course you can! It's right infront of you".

"NO! NO! NO! I CAN'T! IT'S TOO HARD!"

"Marcia, why won't you help Jan?", he asks.

Marcia's response: "Because, Dad...I am not her slave. She cried last night when I wouldn't bring her bag in from the car! I can't do everything for her! She is 6 years old, she can get it herself. I was getting cereal for myself when I was 4. I'm not doing it anymore."

"Fair enough", says Mr.Brady, "Jan, you're on your own. You'll have to open the cupboard by yourself, and prepare your own cereal."

Yelling ensues.

Now, I know that some of you are going to disagree with what happened. Maybe 6 is still young enough that a parent should be be pouring her kids cereal and milk, but I'm in the school of thought of, "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime." Hot food? of course we take care of that. Cereal? Not so much.

So, even though I'm a terrible person for actually enjoying the sound of Jan crying this morning, I am damn proud of Marcia for standing her ground and speaking her mind.