Today has been a shitty day. Plain and simple.
I won't bore you with the details of what lead up to this shitty day - but I will tell you about the straw that broke the camels back.
I made dinner for everyone, I clean up the kitchen, Marcia invites me to play a game, I play. Afterwards they get ready for bed, they come back into the living room and say, "Night, Dad". They hug him and leave. I immediately want to cry. This has happened so many nights. Where I am ignored completely - whether they mean to or not, it hurts. I expressed my hurt feelings to Mr.Brady, who said he hadn't noticed and that he would talk to them about it.
Did he ever get around to talking to them about it? Nope.
Did he go into their room afterwards to talk to them about it tonight? Nope.
Did he even wince, noticing that they had, once again, ignored me? Nope.
Sometimes it's just nice to feel included in the ready-made family, you know?
It's been a shitty day.
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11 comments:
There are many nights still today that are like that. What gets me the most, it is normally on nights that hubby isn't home. It is like, if he isn't home, they they don't need to include me in the bedtime routine. It does hurt, but after a while, you don't so much become used to it, you just get tougher skin to it.
Hon, I'm sorry. I know it really sucks to be the one left out.
If Mr. Brady doesn't talk to them, why don't you start to make the first move? Once they get into their rooms, poke your head in and say goodnight. If they don't respond to you then yes, have the conversation with Mr. Brady that his kids are being brats and that's not acceptable.
You are right! Absolutely, and up until now I have poked my head in their room and said, "Goodnight guys". I think I was just super emotional last night and, like I said, it was the straw that broke the camels back. It just felt like I was being left out. But you're right... Now I'm telling myself, "Suck it up buttercup!" heheh...I'll continue to make the first move.
Been there! (Still there a lot.) I tell them something funny before they head off to bed. Usually it's "Don't bite the bed bugs!" That gets their attention and seems to tickle their funny bones. It turns "What am I supposed to say to Jill? I dunno. I'll just say good night to dad" into "My stepmom is such a dork. But maybe I'll keep her."
oh honey!! big hug!! it's so hard being the step mom. i posted about this but, yesterday...my step daughter, who lives full time with us...told me she doesn't have to listen to me because i'm only her step mom! so, i know how you feel. and, it sucks that hubby didn't have a talk with the kids...he really needs to! and...i completely agree with erin...not a bad idea at all!!
hope things get better!!!
xoxo
Oh, I feel for you sweetie! I can totally relate. There have been many nights when K has done this and I feel so left out. Hubby has gotten pretty good at telling him, "I think you forgot somebody," and K will say, "oh yea!" and them come hug me. I think it'll get better with time. Definitely get Mr. Brady involved though and ALL of you have a nightly ritual together.
It definitely gets better with time...
I love Jill's comments about telling them something funny. I really like "Don't bite the bed bugs." That's hysterical!
Hang in there. There's a new day tomorrow. :)
My stepdaughter was confused at first, but my husband would just remind her to say goodnight to me too. We take turns reading her a story and tucking her in too. That helped a lot.
I agree, you should continue to make the first move. They'll get the idea, eventually.
Routines may help too. We read a book out loud to the kids, then we all say good-night. It helps everyone know what is appropriate and expected if there a routine, plus routines can be comforting when others who shall go nameless do their damnest make everything more stressful than it needs to be.
It does suck to be left out and it does seem to happen to us nice ladies more than we deserve! I make sure to say something to their father even though it puts him in the middle...but I do believe it is his responsibility to stand up for us. We also have to stand up for ourselves, too. Make the first move or say something. Like Jill, I resort to jokes a lot of the time, but it's hard when you put your best foot forward everyday and you don't get a lot back...what can I say- keep on trying and remember to care for yourself.
IR
Been there, am there, will probably be there for the forseeable future. :)
Just make your own routine. Sneak in just as they're in bed and give them a goodnight kiss.
Chances are they just either don't know what's expected of them or simply don't think about it. Make it easy on them, and go get your goodnight kiss.
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