Warning: White Trash in Stepford

The car door has been fixed. Sorta. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, refer to this post click here.

I say “sorta” because although my door now opens and closes – it does not match the rest of my car. The important thing here is that my door works, right? I refuse to buy a brand new door (a new one costs more than my car is worth), and I absolutely refuse to buy a new car (this was suggested by a few people after they saw the state of my current car).

Now, before I go on let me explain something to you; I was born, raised and lived (up until 1 month ago) in the heart of the city. I am a city girl. I am completely at home in the city and can fall asleep comfortably to the sounds of cars, sirens and airplanes. For my entire life, my home has been the asphalt jungle. That’s not to say that I don’t enjoy nature – I love camping, scuba diving and hiking – BUT – my home has always come with the comfort of knowing that my local convenience store, Safeway, and bar would be open until (at least) 2am.

I now live, in what I lovingly call “Stepford”. I have never been surrounded by so many houses with yards and swing sets in my life! I realize this isn’t a bad thing – but the effort and care these neighbors of mine put into their homes is mind boggling! Where do they find the time? I won't lie to you, I'm stoked if I can remember to take out the trash on garbage day.

And I swear – I saw a woman grocery shopping in a classy black pair of Jimmy Choo’s. I WISH I was kidding.

I was rolling out the recycling box yesterday when my friendly neighbor came running over and greeted me (more like scared the shit out of me – where I come from, you just look down and keep on walking…rarely does anyone go out of their way to say hello) with a chipper,

“Goodmorning, Alice. How are you today? Say, are you going to the Stepford town hall discussion regarding the new playground design for the lake?”

I stared. Blankly.

I finally managed to mutter something that sounded like, “Umm….I like lakes.” Stupid response, I know. Luckily, being the overly friendly neighbor that she is, she simply smiled and said, “We all do! Which is why this playground is so important. I hope you can make it!”

So basically, this town is small enough that NOT attending a town hall discussion means that I don't care about the lake or its new park.

With all that being said, let's get back to my door. I drove home the other day in my white (with brown door) car, and received some of the most interesting looks I have ever seen. It's like I busted the Stepfords! It was if they were pretending not to notice, yet completely disgusted.

I think I have offended the Stepford folks with my brown door.

I'm pretty sure that if I park in the driveway we are going to receive a letter about how we've lowered their property value.

I am trying not to be too judgemental here - but this is all very very new to me, and at times can feel a little lonely. Maybe the folks of Stepford really ARE this happy. Make they aren't all fake. Maybe I'm being too jaded. Maybe they could care less about my brown door.

Maybe. But I don't think so.

Regardless, it's entertaining.